August 9, 2008
We were up the next morning early. Just Jonathan, Tiffany and me. It was strange that Justin had not come back. We texted and called but could not get a hold of him. This couldn’t be happening to me, not on the day of our wedding. This was bull shit. He should at least be here to help us, we still have to set up and everything, but he was gone. After waiting an hour, we decided that we would just go set up without him. When we got to the church we unloaded chairs from inside the reception hall, carried them all the way across the parking lot and placed them in two sections that were 6 rows back. After the chairs were set up, we brought out the tiki torches and the unity candle stand. When I looked at my phone I couldn’t believe that it was already 11 in the morning. I called Jana.
“Have you seen Justin?” I asked
“Yeah. He is here, fixing to come find you. He said you guys had a falling out, are you two going to be okay?” She asked
“I sure hope so.” I said.
She laughed. “That is the same thing that he said.”
“Well, I’m on my way over now.” I said.
“Good“, she said. “I have a great Idea for your hair and make up.”“sounds like a plan to me.” I said. “Be there in fifteen.”
With that we were off and heading toward Jana’s. I won’t say that I wasn’t excited about the make over that she had planned for me, because I was. But I was a little upset that she was doing things that my mom should be doing. We got there in record time. The wedding was to start at noon.
There was a rush of women and a curling iron, a cloud of hairspray and more make up than I ever thought about seeing. As I sat on the toilet, Nathaniel had come into the bathroom, and crawled into my lap. My now 6 month old was loving every minute of being in there with all of us, even if we were all girls. He just liked being around the commotion. But who was I to complain, in my lap was my beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed baby boy and I was surrounded by people who loved me.
“So what do you think?” Jana said motioning to the mirror.
I stood up to look and almost broke into tears. I had never looked or felt so beautiful in my life.
“No need for an explanation, you are running late. You better get to the church, your bridal party and everybody is waiting. I’ll be right behind you with your dress.” Jana said.
I kissed Nathaniel and me and Tiffany were racing like mad men to get to the church in time. On the way there in the firebird, we raced at least two cars, one being Justin’s aunt. I figured hell why not? After beating both of them we arrived at the church.
“You shouldn’t be racing like that.” Justin’s aunt said.
I laughed.
I ran like a mad man into the church where we did final touch ups on my make up and talked (more like yelled) about the order of the bridal party. I felt sick to my stomach, maybe it would have been better if I was throwing up hung over than going through this. All we were waiting on was Jana with my dress then we could get this show on the road, must have been nice to be Justin right now, at least he got to stand around outside and talk with everybody, I had to be stuck in the church trying to pin together the finishing touches. Finally after what seemed like hours, jana showed up with my dress. There was a whirlwind of people helping me into. I was so stressed that I was about to rip my hair out. I was to the point of yelling at them all to get their hands off of me. I looked over at my ring barer mom and asked, “Was your wedding this stressful?”
“Ali hunny. A fight broke out at my wedding.” She said.
Once into the dress, we lined up. I could hear the music up in the church. It had me in tears before the door even opened to let out the bridal party.
Keisha and Jonathan were first, then My little sister, heather and older brother, josh, then Melanie and Justin’s friend, J.r. I grabbed my papa’s hand and he looked at me and said to little words that make me cry even to this day when I think about it. “Your beautiful.”
Asher and Vickki were next out the door, they were so cute together. My flower girl and ring barer. I could hear Asher pointing at the cars as the passed to the oak. I couldn’t help but to laugh.
On the way to the alter I was escorted by three men, my papa walked me all the way to the center of the parking lot where we met my uncle tom who walked me to the edge of the grass where my daddy stood waiting. He was wearing sunglasses but I knew he was crying. We walked together silently to the alter. Brother Russ asked him if he was giving me away and he looked at me and said, “It’s not to late for you to come home with me.”
“It’s okay daddy. I love you.” I said.
My dad looked at brother Russ and said, “I do.” it broke my heart to hear his voice break the way it did. I didn’t want to hurt my daddy. But it was something that was going to happen regardless.
It didn’t take long into the ceremony for me to get bored with what brother Russ was saying. I have always hated wedding for that reason. I tried to let him think that he was holding my attention but he wasn’t. I was just flat out bored out of my mind. Every time it plays in my head it is like somebody has hit the fast forward button in my head to the “I do’s“.
After 30 minutes of standing there listening to brother Russ talk about how our rings were a symbol of our love that should only be broken in death, he pronounced us man and wife. We lit out unity candle together, which was a pain in the butt and it didn’t make it any better that the wind kept blowing it out. Once we got it to stay lit, we headed inside for the ceremony. We had fifty million people it seemed like in our faces with cameras. It was ridiculous. We sat at this table, just me, Justin and Nathan and we smiled and talked to everybody. I was ready to go after about five minutes and so was Justin. But we stayed. We cut the cake and it was shoved in my face, only for me to turn around and shove it up his nose. We both laughed. I had never been so happy in my life. I was married to the man I loved more than anything in this world, we had a beautiful son, and amazing friends and family. It was perfect.
After everyone had left the church we all headed to mom’s house for an after party. It was a ball. We danced to music and drank and just partied like it was the night before. Then suddenly “I Learned From You” came on by Miley Cyrus. And me and daddy had our father daughter dance. Every time I hear that song, it takes me back, makes me miss those days. Makes me miss everything. We carried on into the night. Well almost. The party was moved after that to the bluffs. Thanks to my smart idea, I wasn’t really thinking to well. I climbed up onto this cliff, I was on top of the world, it felt great. Life was great. I leaped. I can still to this day feel the wind in my hair and the water as it surrounds me. How amazing that it felt to take that first plunge into marriage. And how blessed that I was for everything, including the bad. Without it, I would have never felt so alive, so free, nor so happy..
“Have you seen Justin?” I asked
“Yeah. He is here, fixing to come find you. He said you guys had a falling out, are you two going to be okay?” She asked
“I sure hope so.” I said.
She laughed. “That is the same thing that he said.”
“Well, I’m on my way over now.” I said.
“Good“, she said. “I have a great Idea for your hair and make up.”“sounds like a plan to me.” I said. “Be there in fifteen.”
With that we were off and heading toward Jana’s. I won’t say that I wasn’t excited about the make over that she had planned for me, because I was. But I was a little upset that she was doing things that my mom should be doing. We got there in record time. The wedding was to start at noon.
There was a rush of women and a curling iron, a cloud of hairspray and more make up than I ever thought about seeing. As I sat on the toilet, Nathaniel had come into the bathroom, and crawled into my lap. My now 6 month old was loving every minute of being in there with all of us, even if we were all girls. He just liked being around the commotion. But who was I to complain, in my lap was my beautiful blonde hair, blue eyed baby boy and I was surrounded by people who loved me.
“So what do you think?” Jana said motioning to the mirror.
I stood up to look and almost broke into tears. I had never looked or felt so beautiful in my life.
“No need for an explanation, you are running late. You better get to the church, your bridal party and everybody is waiting. I’ll be right behind you with your dress.” Jana said.
I kissed Nathaniel and me and Tiffany were racing like mad men to get to the church in time. On the way there in the firebird, we raced at least two cars, one being Justin’s aunt. I figured hell why not? After beating both of them we arrived at the church.
“You shouldn’t be racing like that.” Justin’s aunt said.
I laughed.
I ran like a mad man into the church where we did final touch ups on my make up and talked (more like yelled) about the order of the bridal party. I felt sick to my stomach, maybe it would have been better if I was throwing up hung over than going through this. All we were waiting on was Jana with my dress then we could get this show on the road, must have been nice to be Justin right now, at least he got to stand around outside and talk with everybody, I had to be stuck in the church trying to pin together the finishing touches. Finally after what seemed like hours, jana showed up with my dress. There was a whirlwind of people helping me into. I was so stressed that I was about to rip my hair out. I was to the point of yelling at them all to get their hands off of me. I looked over at my ring barer mom and asked, “Was your wedding this stressful?”
“Ali hunny. A fight broke out at my wedding.” She said.
Once into the dress, we lined up. I could hear the music up in the church. It had me in tears before the door even opened to let out the bridal party.
Keisha and Jonathan were first, then My little sister, heather and older brother, josh, then Melanie and Justin’s friend, J.r. I grabbed my papa’s hand and he looked at me and said to little words that make me cry even to this day when I think about it. “Your beautiful.”
Asher and Vickki were next out the door, they were so cute together. My flower girl and ring barer. I could hear Asher pointing at the cars as the passed to the oak. I couldn’t help but to laugh.
On the way to the alter I was escorted by three men, my papa walked me all the way to the center of the parking lot where we met my uncle tom who walked me to the edge of the grass where my daddy stood waiting. He was wearing sunglasses but I knew he was crying. We walked together silently to the alter. Brother Russ asked him if he was giving me away and he looked at me and said, “It’s not to late for you to come home with me.”
“It’s okay daddy. I love you.” I said.
My dad looked at brother Russ and said, “I do.” it broke my heart to hear his voice break the way it did. I didn’t want to hurt my daddy. But it was something that was going to happen regardless.
It didn’t take long into the ceremony for me to get bored with what brother Russ was saying. I have always hated wedding for that reason. I tried to let him think that he was holding my attention but he wasn’t. I was just flat out bored out of my mind. Every time it plays in my head it is like somebody has hit the fast forward button in my head to the “I do’s“.
After 30 minutes of standing there listening to brother Russ talk about how our rings were a symbol of our love that should only be broken in death, he pronounced us man and wife. We lit out unity candle together, which was a pain in the butt and it didn’t make it any better that the wind kept blowing it out. Once we got it to stay lit, we headed inside for the ceremony. We had fifty million people it seemed like in our faces with cameras. It was ridiculous. We sat at this table, just me, Justin and Nathan and we smiled and talked to everybody. I was ready to go after about five minutes and so was Justin. But we stayed. We cut the cake and it was shoved in my face, only for me to turn around and shove it up his nose. We both laughed. I had never been so happy in my life. I was married to the man I loved more than anything in this world, we had a beautiful son, and amazing friends and family. It was perfect.
After everyone had left the church we all headed to mom’s house for an after party. It was a ball. We danced to music and drank and just partied like it was the night before. Then suddenly “I Learned From You” came on by Miley Cyrus. And me and daddy had our father daughter dance. Every time I hear that song, it takes me back, makes me miss those days. Makes me miss everything. We carried on into the night. Well almost. The party was moved after that to the bluffs. Thanks to my smart idea, I wasn’t really thinking to well. I climbed up onto this cliff, I was on top of the world, it felt great. Life was great. I leaped. I can still to this day feel the wind in my hair and the water as it surrounds me. How amazing that it felt to take that first plunge into marriage. And how blessed that I was for everything, including the bad. Without it, I would have never felt so alive, so free, nor so happy..
