Welcome Home
Sitting there, still in the labor room, I looked him over. I counted every finger and every toe. I looked at his head full of black hair, his beautiful skin, his flawless face. His name couldn’t have been more perfect for the boy. He was an angel and he was mine. I had this feeling in my chest, it was like nothing I have ever felt before. I couldn’t even explain it if I tried. So I sat there in awe, looking over this little person that I had created. I was mesmerized.
“Alicia, will you be breast feeding?”
She caught me off guard. I never even saw the nurse come in. I think she knew she startled me because I jumped, and not a little jump either, if I would have been standing I probably would have dropped Nathaniel, that is how high the jump was.
“I had hoped too.” I replied.
“You want to try to see if he will eat before we take him to the nursery?”
Wait, they were going to take him from me? I just got to meet him, he has only been here an hour and they are going to take him to the nursery? Well they are the doctors and they know best.
“If you don’t care, will you show me how to breast feed.” I asked.
I realize now how stupid that question sounded coming out of my mouth, shouldn’t that come natural?
“I sure will.” she said, with a smile, like nothing I asked was to much. She was so nice.
Together we undid my hospital gown at the shoulder so that my bare breast was exposed, we tilted Nathaniel and held him close, we ran some breast milk onto his mouth and before I knew it I was doing it, we were doing it, I was breast feeding. I felt so at ease the whole time he fed. I fell asleep. When I woke up, Justin was sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed holding Nathaniel whispering something to him. I just sat there. I was in a daze, I’m not sure wither it was from the fact that I was so tired or from the breast feeding itself. I have no clue how he got Nathaniel from me but he had him and I felt myself start to dose back off. I wasn’t asleep long before the nurse came in to take Nathaniel to the nursery.
“Wait, I just barely got to see him.” I said as Justin handed Nathaniel to her.
“Oh Sweetheart, He will only be there for a couple hours so we can run some test, get him weighed and bath him. It won’t be long until he is back in your arms. I promise.” she said.
“okay.” I replied.
Before she made it out of the room a team of nurses came in.
“we are here to get your vital signs, talk to you about your labor and move you into your postpartum room.”
I sat there as they took my vitals and I listened to them explain the horrible reason I had to wear an oxygen mask, the real reason that I almost lost myself and Nathaniel. I would have been a goner, but on top of doctor Bledsoe delivering Nathaniel, he had saved both our lives on top of it. I didn’t want to cry but I couldn’t stop the tears, all I could think about is what if he wouldn’t have saved us both and Nathaniel would have died. The thought was painfully horrifying. They took turns hugging me, letting me cry it out. Before I knew it, I was fine. They say a lot of people get like that after giving birth. They moved me to a new bed and we headed out of labor and delivery into a postpartum room, stopping for a few minutes so that I could see Nathaniel through the big glass window to the nursery.
“Ali!”
I looked around and all my friends and family were there. I couldn’t believe that there were so many people. Why was it such a big deal for them? I had no clue I was even that popular. Did that many people really love me? I was floored, I managed a smile as they wheeled me into my room.
“8 hours baby girl, 8 hours!” I looked up and there was my mom, smiling the biggest smile ever.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“8 hours exactly from the time we got here until he was born” she said
“Why were we keeping track?” I asked.
“it’s a mom thing. I’m so proud of you.” she said with a kiss on the forehead
Before I had time to realize the room was full of people, hugs were going around like crazy, everybody was hugging everybody. A lot of people brought cards and presents. It was so nice to be around a bunch of love. It has been such a long time sense I’ve seen people act so happy.
Justin’s mom came in, she was crying. I felt so bad. I never liked seeing anybody cry no matter how mean they were.
“He’s beautiful.” she said through her tears.
I didn’t want to say, but I had a hunch on why she was crying. Almost a theory, like she felt bad. But she was letting go. She was getting over it, Nathaniel was here and it was real and I think she saw that now and she was giving up on making my life hell. After hours of people coming in and out, everybody had left, everybody but me and Justin.
“You really pissed me off today.” he said
“How so?” I asked, moving Nathaniel from one arm to the other.
“You know what the fuck you did. You had your mom bring you, you didn’t even call me or my mom. You fucking blew me off when it was time for your epidural. Just kicked me out of the room.”
Nathaniel started crying and I put him to my chest.
“Justin listen. I’m not dealing with this here. I will have you removed and to be honest I may not even have too, if you keep getting load they will kick you out themselves.” I said.
Just then his brother walked in. He held Nathaniel, I really didn’t want him too, looking at him I could tell that he was high. I wasn’t going to tell him that he couldn’t, I would have just caught more hell. He sat on the couch next to my bed, I think he knew that I was uncomfortable with him having a hold of Nathaniel in his current state. He had just handed Nathaniel to his friend Keith, who I happened to be very fond of. We had gone to church together awhile back. He wasn’t into drugs or anything like that, he just offered Chris a ride so that he wouldn’t try to drive. So I didn’t complain about the fact that Keith had walked across the room with Nathaniel to sit in the only open seat.
The nurse walked in just as Keith sat down to remove my IV. I watched as Chris almost passed out when she pulled it out. Blood went everywhere and chris almost went down. It was so funny. I had to fight back the laughter. They stayed until 3 that morning. I didn’t complain. I just sat there and held Nathaniel. After they left the nurse came into the room and took him into the nursery for the night or so she thought. I ended up calling to the nursery an hour later and having them bring him back into the room because I wasn’t sure that I could trust those nurses with my son. It seems childish but it is how it was.
The nurse that brought him back to me was a different nurse than the one who had taken him out for the night. She was shorter and a little bigger.
“I sang him Jesus loves the little children. I hope you don’t mind but his name is Nathaniel so I took you for the religious type because this is a biblical name. I was actually quite surprised that a seventeen year old girl would be the mother.” she said, sitting down next to me on my bed. Justin was asleep, thank god.
“I don’t mind at all. Thank you for sharing that with him. I’m sure he will love to hear about it when he gets older. That means a lot to me. Not many people would do that for somebody else’s child.” I replied.
“I’m not most people.” she said, with a hug she was gone.
Grabbing Nathaniel up and putting him in my bed with me, I passed out, into a deep, blissful sleep.
The next day was a huge blur, it was full of new experiences. I had never changed a diaper before. Nor had I ever calmed a baby with such ease. I was so proud of myself. Like the night before, I had people running in and out of the room, I don’t think that they really wanted to see me, they just wanted to see Nathaniel. I had people that barely had talked to me sense they found out I was pregnant, people who had disowned me that were coming to see us. But I didn’t mind. As long as I had him there with me and nobody was going to take him, anybody could come and go as they pleased.
“I’m not staying here with you tonight. I have school tomorrow.” Justin said.
“Wait? So I have to stay here alone?” I asked
“I’m not fucking staying here. Call your mom.” he said and with that he was gone.
It didn’t take my mom no time to get to the hospital after I called her. She was so mad she was ready to throw things. She cursed Justin up one side of the hospital room down the other (even though he wasn’t even there). She was yelling about how he needed to man up for his son and his girl when I started laughing. My mom was so mad she was spitting. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Finally she calmed down and went about the night helping me with Nathaniel. I don’t think she was really mad at Justin, I just think that she was irritated because he had a family now and wasn’t stepping up. It wasn’t long until we were both asleep.
We were woke up early the next morning with discharge papers. They were actually sending me home. They can’t be? I had no clue what I was doing? They have barely taught me anything. I could feel my chest get uneasy at the thought about how horrible taking him home would be.
“It’s cold out, Ali. I’m going to pull the van around. Dress him warm.” My mom said and ran off.
I had his outfit picked out already. It suited him perfectly. A little body suit and beanie, they were white when I bought them but thanks to some well found talent they were now blue and white tie dye. I was so excited once I got them on him. He looked a lot better in blue than I had hoped. The nurse came in, took Nathaniel up in her arms and carried him as another pushed me in a wheelchair out to the van. On the way out it was a rush of people and congratulations’ from people I have never even met. I just smiled and let them look at him if they wanted.
We finally made it to the car and the nurses checked the car seat. Once deemed safe we were off. It was only a few minutes before we were pulling up at the house. Really big on the porch, the flag had been changed. where our American flag once flew was now a huge blue flag that waved in the breeze with the words, IT’S A BOY! Really big in a black color on it. I was floored.
“Mom, what’s with the flag?” I asked.
“Ask your overly excited dad.” she replied.
We both laughed.
As we pulled into the car port, dad was outside waiting on us. He had the biggest smile I have ever seen him wear. Once the van was unloaded and me and Nathaniel were inside, my dad grabbed him up and told me to follow him. We walked to my room, as he opened my door I saw it, he had set up for the baby, everything was moved. It was perfect. I stood there smiling when dad grabbed me in a hug. With me in one are and Nathaniel in the other he said, “Welcome home.”
“Alicia, will you be breast feeding?”
She caught me off guard. I never even saw the nurse come in. I think she knew she startled me because I jumped, and not a little jump either, if I would have been standing I probably would have dropped Nathaniel, that is how high the jump was.
“I had hoped too.” I replied.
“You want to try to see if he will eat before we take him to the nursery?”
Wait, they were going to take him from me? I just got to meet him, he has only been here an hour and they are going to take him to the nursery? Well they are the doctors and they know best.
“If you don’t care, will you show me how to breast feed.” I asked.
I realize now how stupid that question sounded coming out of my mouth, shouldn’t that come natural?
“I sure will.” she said, with a smile, like nothing I asked was to much. She was so nice.
Together we undid my hospital gown at the shoulder so that my bare breast was exposed, we tilted Nathaniel and held him close, we ran some breast milk onto his mouth and before I knew it I was doing it, we were doing it, I was breast feeding. I felt so at ease the whole time he fed. I fell asleep. When I woke up, Justin was sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed holding Nathaniel whispering something to him. I just sat there. I was in a daze, I’m not sure wither it was from the fact that I was so tired or from the breast feeding itself. I have no clue how he got Nathaniel from me but he had him and I felt myself start to dose back off. I wasn’t asleep long before the nurse came in to take Nathaniel to the nursery.
“Wait, I just barely got to see him.” I said as Justin handed Nathaniel to her.
“Oh Sweetheart, He will only be there for a couple hours so we can run some test, get him weighed and bath him. It won’t be long until he is back in your arms. I promise.” she said.
“okay.” I replied.
Before she made it out of the room a team of nurses came in.
“we are here to get your vital signs, talk to you about your labor and move you into your postpartum room.”
I sat there as they took my vitals and I listened to them explain the horrible reason I had to wear an oxygen mask, the real reason that I almost lost myself and Nathaniel. I would have been a goner, but on top of doctor Bledsoe delivering Nathaniel, he had saved both our lives on top of it. I didn’t want to cry but I couldn’t stop the tears, all I could think about is what if he wouldn’t have saved us both and Nathaniel would have died. The thought was painfully horrifying. They took turns hugging me, letting me cry it out. Before I knew it, I was fine. They say a lot of people get like that after giving birth. They moved me to a new bed and we headed out of labor and delivery into a postpartum room, stopping for a few minutes so that I could see Nathaniel through the big glass window to the nursery.
“Ali!”
I looked around and all my friends and family were there. I couldn’t believe that there were so many people. Why was it such a big deal for them? I had no clue I was even that popular. Did that many people really love me? I was floored, I managed a smile as they wheeled me into my room.
“8 hours baby girl, 8 hours!” I looked up and there was my mom, smiling the biggest smile ever.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“8 hours exactly from the time we got here until he was born” she said
“Why were we keeping track?” I asked.
“it’s a mom thing. I’m so proud of you.” she said with a kiss on the forehead
Before I had time to realize the room was full of people, hugs were going around like crazy, everybody was hugging everybody. A lot of people brought cards and presents. It was so nice to be around a bunch of love. It has been such a long time sense I’ve seen people act so happy.
Justin’s mom came in, she was crying. I felt so bad. I never liked seeing anybody cry no matter how mean they were.
“He’s beautiful.” she said through her tears.
I didn’t want to say, but I had a hunch on why she was crying. Almost a theory, like she felt bad. But she was letting go. She was getting over it, Nathaniel was here and it was real and I think she saw that now and she was giving up on making my life hell. After hours of people coming in and out, everybody had left, everybody but me and Justin.
“You really pissed me off today.” he said
“How so?” I asked, moving Nathaniel from one arm to the other.
“You know what the fuck you did. You had your mom bring you, you didn’t even call me or my mom. You fucking blew me off when it was time for your epidural. Just kicked me out of the room.”
Nathaniel started crying and I put him to my chest.
“Justin listen. I’m not dealing with this here. I will have you removed and to be honest I may not even have too, if you keep getting load they will kick you out themselves.” I said.
Just then his brother walked in. He held Nathaniel, I really didn’t want him too, looking at him I could tell that he was high. I wasn’t going to tell him that he couldn’t, I would have just caught more hell. He sat on the couch next to my bed, I think he knew that I was uncomfortable with him having a hold of Nathaniel in his current state. He had just handed Nathaniel to his friend Keith, who I happened to be very fond of. We had gone to church together awhile back. He wasn’t into drugs or anything like that, he just offered Chris a ride so that he wouldn’t try to drive. So I didn’t complain about the fact that Keith had walked across the room with Nathaniel to sit in the only open seat.
The nurse walked in just as Keith sat down to remove my IV. I watched as Chris almost passed out when she pulled it out. Blood went everywhere and chris almost went down. It was so funny. I had to fight back the laughter. They stayed until 3 that morning. I didn’t complain. I just sat there and held Nathaniel. After they left the nurse came into the room and took him into the nursery for the night or so she thought. I ended up calling to the nursery an hour later and having them bring him back into the room because I wasn’t sure that I could trust those nurses with my son. It seems childish but it is how it was.
The nurse that brought him back to me was a different nurse than the one who had taken him out for the night. She was shorter and a little bigger.
“I sang him Jesus loves the little children. I hope you don’t mind but his name is Nathaniel so I took you for the religious type because this is a biblical name. I was actually quite surprised that a seventeen year old girl would be the mother.” she said, sitting down next to me on my bed. Justin was asleep, thank god.
“I don’t mind at all. Thank you for sharing that with him. I’m sure he will love to hear about it when he gets older. That means a lot to me. Not many people would do that for somebody else’s child.” I replied.
“I’m not most people.” she said, with a hug she was gone.
Grabbing Nathaniel up and putting him in my bed with me, I passed out, into a deep, blissful sleep.
The next day was a huge blur, it was full of new experiences. I had never changed a diaper before. Nor had I ever calmed a baby with such ease. I was so proud of myself. Like the night before, I had people running in and out of the room, I don’t think that they really wanted to see me, they just wanted to see Nathaniel. I had people that barely had talked to me sense they found out I was pregnant, people who had disowned me that were coming to see us. But I didn’t mind. As long as I had him there with me and nobody was going to take him, anybody could come and go as they pleased.
“I’m not staying here with you tonight. I have school tomorrow.” Justin said.
“Wait? So I have to stay here alone?” I asked
“I’m not fucking staying here. Call your mom.” he said and with that he was gone.
It didn’t take my mom no time to get to the hospital after I called her. She was so mad she was ready to throw things. She cursed Justin up one side of the hospital room down the other (even though he wasn’t even there). She was yelling about how he needed to man up for his son and his girl when I started laughing. My mom was so mad she was spitting. I couldn’t keep it in anymore. Finally she calmed down and went about the night helping me with Nathaniel. I don’t think she was really mad at Justin, I just think that she was irritated because he had a family now and wasn’t stepping up. It wasn’t long until we were both asleep.
We were woke up early the next morning with discharge papers. They were actually sending me home. They can’t be? I had no clue what I was doing? They have barely taught me anything. I could feel my chest get uneasy at the thought about how horrible taking him home would be.
“It’s cold out, Ali. I’m going to pull the van around. Dress him warm.” My mom said and ran off.
I had his outfit picked out already. It suited him perfectly. A little body suit and beanie, they were white when I bought them but thanks to some well found talent they were now blue and white tie dye. I was so excited once I got them on him. He looked a lot better in blue than I had hoped. The nurse came in, took Nathaniel up in her arms and carried him as another pushed me in a wheelchair out to the van. On the way out it was a rush of people and congratulations’ from people I have never even met. I just smiled and let them look at him if they wanted.
We finally made it to the car and the nurses checked the car seat. Once deemed safe we were off. It was only a few minutes before we were pulling up at the house. Really big on the porch, the flag had been changed. where our American flag once flew was now a huge blue flag that waved in the breeze with the words, IT’S A BOY! Really big in a black color on it. I was floored.
“Mom, what’s with the flag?” I asked.
“Ask your overly excited dad.” she replied.
We both laughed.
As we pulled into the car port, dad was outside waiting on us. He had the biggest smile I have ever seen him wear. Once the van was unloaded and me and Nathaniel were inside, my dad grabbed him up and told me to follow him. We walked to my room, as he opened my door I saw it, he had set up for the baby, everything was moved. It was perfect. I stood there smiling when dad grabbed me in a hug. With me in one are and Nathaniel in the other he said, “Welcome home.”
