Baby Shower?
As the months rolled on, I lost track of time. I didn’t do anything but lay in bed. Mom brought all my food to me and the furthest I traveled was to the bathroom, and even getting up to go to the bathroom sent another rush of fluid and extreme pain. I didn’t know how much longer that I could handle it. Justin would call and only talk for minutes at a time, telling me whole this whole situation was my fault, that I had just wanted attention. Nobody was paying attention to me and it was the only way I knew how to get it. I felt my heart sink every time my mom came into my room with the phone to say it was Justin.
Between going to the doctors every week for a shot that stung and ultra sounds I really didn’t due much. That is why I was so surprised when mom had said that she was throwing me a baby shower. Why would she do that? She knew that I wouldn’t be able to go. She just wanted to be mean and it was working. It was like teasing a 3 year old with candy. Perhaps that is why she had even brought up the topic. Who knows. Then again, my mom wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, maybe she wanted to actually throw this baby shower, after all this is her first grandson that she will get to see, so would a baby shower be that bad of an idea?
Justin called the day before the baby shower while we were on our way to the doctors.
“Is your stupid mom really throwing you that baby shower?” he asked.
“Why wouldn’t she? She is excited Justin. This is just as new for her as it is for you or me.” I replied.
“Ali, you both are fucking idiots. You two don’t care about anyone or anything but yourselves.”
The line went silent. I sat there for a minute. Trying not to clue mom in to what had been said. It would just cause a fight between all of us anyways, so best to leave it unsaid. We got to the doctors five minutes later which is usual for me and mom, what with all the pit stops and sight seeing that we like to do when we get out. Nothing that the doctors office didn’t expect. I can remember one time on the way to my sugar test, it’s a normal thing they do with pregnant people that turned out with me in a hospital bed because they had almost sent me into a diabetic coma but that is completely different story, that they say a certain time for my appointments but they always schedule it for fifteen minutes after they tell us because we are always and I mean always late.
There was no ultra sound this time around. Which I was thankful for. They listened to his heartbeat which was more than enough to fix everything that Justin had said on the car ride there. If he didn’t love me, he would have never gave me such a precious gift. I went into a daze, that in between stage where you don’t know whether to smile or cry, it was a normal thing, I was told.
“The baby is staying active. That is a good thing, at least we know that the young man is thriving.” Doctor Bledsoe said to my mom, as if I wasn’t in the room or was to stupid to know anything he was saying.
News flash dr. Bledsoe, I looked up everything from the time I found out about Nathaniel until today and there is nothing you could have thrown at me that I wouldn’t have understood.
“We want to have Ali a baby shower. I know that we are not supposed to have her standing for to long at a time but it will be at our church and their will be a lot of women there that can help if anything should go wrong. I just don’t understand how you can be pregnant without having one.” my mom had just blurted it out.
The room was silent. Nobody had expected her to do anything but shake her head when he asked if she understood. It had taken us all aback, sense she had gotten kind of quiet when it came to this matter here lately. After minutes dr. Bledsoe spoke, “I don’t see why not. As long as she takes it easy. Do not let her walk, do not let her run, watch small children around her. Nothing with caffeine and no heavy lifting.”
He shot a look right at me. Like everything was my fault if Justin would have just helped I wouldn’t have to be watched so carefully. I was getting so mad listening to them talk about me like I wasn’t even there that I had to bite my tongue a couple times.
After a bit of coaxing, mom finally quit talking so we could leave. It was settled. Tomorrow was our baby shower and I was stoked. I didn’t get much better than that. Then the phone rang. Looking down in black letters on the front of my cell phone it said Justin. He was the last person that I wanted to talk too. He would just yell at me anyway. I hit ignore and texted him.
“In the dr still. Text you when I get home.”
His reply, ”k.”
We rode the rest of the way home without talking, not because I didn’t want too. I loved talking to mom but because she was singing the Dixie Chicks at the top of her lungs. My mom wasn’t much of a singer but she tried at least I could give her that.
When we pulled up and mom was getting out, I stayed in the van.
“I’ve got to call Justin, mom. He just texted. I will be in as soon as we get off the phone.” I told her.
Not like we would be on the phone long. We never talk longer than 15 minutes anymore. I dialed his number, his mom answered.
“Hey, Ali. How you holding up?” she asked.
“I’m fine, Jana. Thanks for asking. Hey, my mom is throwing me a baby shower tomorrow and if your not to busy, will you come?” he couldn’t say I didn’t ask.
“I can try, Let me find Justin. He ran outside to get something and left his phone in the house.” she said.
I didn’t wait long until Justin was on the line.
“So what did your doctor say about the baby shower?” he asked.
“He said I could go as long as I don’t overdue it.” I said.
“He’s just as stupid as you. You’ll just find a way to hurt yourself there too. Sense you love all the attention.” He said.
“Justin, I would rather not fight right now.” I said.
“We’re not fighting. I’m just saying. What makes it okay for you to get to leave the house after being on bed rest so long? Ali, It’s only two months until Nathan is due. Why in the fuck do you want to risk it?”
“ME RISK IT! I’m not risking anything, Justin. I want to go. I want to be around people. I want to see my friends. I want to be around people who actually like me.” I replied.
“You such an ugly whore. Nobody likes you. They just feel sorry for you because you’re a pregnant teenager.” he replied.
“Justin, listen. I’m sorry I yelled at you but how do you think I feel when you yell at me all the time?” I asked
“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it.” and he hung up.
I didn’t call him back. He wasn’t going to ruin this for me. Not this time. I got up and out of the van and walked into the house, where be and my sister, Victoria, sat so we could watch people get hurt on youtube. Before long, we were rolling. I hadn’t laughed so hard in I don’t know when. I don’t know how long we sat there. It must have been a super long time because everyone had gone to sleep and Josh had walked out of his room, looked at us and said, “Would you two shut up? It’s 3 in the morning.” We laughed even harder. Finally around 5 we decided it was time for bed.
Morning came and we were running around like crazies. I didn’t want to get up and dressed and neither did Vikki. Maybe we did stay up way to late last night but it was worth it. After half an hour of fighting to get us up and dressed we were off and on our way to the church, it was a matter of ten minutes before we got there. I mean hello, we just lived up the street from it. When I got out of the van it was like a wave of women wanting to hug me and touch my stomach, a few even cried. It felt so good to see all these familiar faces.
Walking into the church, it was like walking into our house for the first time in a year. I hadn’t realized how much the people here loved me or how much I had missed it until this day. We walked down to the family center and in the front of the room was a chair, just for me. A table full of gifts, and something really big hiding behind the door. Looking to the left. I saw her, my best friend, my sister, Tiffany. I ran up to her and embraced her, almost refusing to let go. I had missed her so much. Not even the cutest kitten could have stopped the tears. After letting go and taking my seat, I looked everywhere and Justin’s mom was nowhere to be found. Figured.
We started with a prayer, and the pastor’s wife had this big thing where they all welcomed Nathaniel to the church and told me just because I was so young did not stop me from being loved. That it made us stronger as a church. I cried, they touched my soul, in more ways than any of them would ever know. I loved them all so much. After she had said what she had to say we all got to eat. She walked me to table and right there in the middle of it was a huge cake. It was blue and white and said Special Delivery really big across it. I was stunned. It was beautiful. After eating the cake, which seemed more like a sin than anything, we opened gifts. It touched my hearts so much to see how much I was really cared about. How much people really can love people. I never really had a chance to thank those women for what they gave to me, what they had taught and the love that they showed me, even after I had sinned and become this unholy creature. But there in that church surrounded by the people who cared most, I felt like I had a chance. Like I could do this, everything was going to be alright. As long as I had the help and support of these women I could do anything.
Between going to the doctors every week for a shot that stung and ultra sounds I really didn’t due much. That is why I was so surprised when mom had said that she was throwing me a baby shower. Why would she do that? She knew that I wouldn’t be able to go. She just wanted to be mean and it was working. It was like teasing a 3 year old with candy. Perhaps that is why she had even brought up the topic. Who knows. Then again, my mom wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, maybe she wanted to actually throw this baby shower, after all this is her first grandson that she will get to see, so would a baby shower be that bad of an idea?
Justin called the day before the baby shower while we were on our way to the doctors.
“Is your stupid mom really throwing you that baby shower?” he asked.
“Why wouldn’t she? She is excited Justin. This is just as new for her as it is for you or me.” I replied.
“Ali, you both are fucking idiots. You two don’t care about anyone or anything but yourselves.”
The line went silent. I sat there for a minute. Trying not to clue mom in to what had been said. It would just cause a fight between all of us anyways, so best to leave it unsaid. We got to the doctors five minutes later which is usual for me and mom, what with all the pit stops and sight seeing that we like to do when we get out. Nothing that the doctors office didn’t expect. I can remember one time on the way to my sugar test, it’s a normal thing they do with pregnant people that turned out with me in a hospital bed because they had almost sent me into a diabetic coma but that is completely different story, that they say a certain time for my appointments but they always schedule it for fifteen minutes after they tell us because we are always and I mean always late.
There was no ultra sound this time around. Which I was thankful for. They listened to his heartbeat which was more than enough to fix everything that Justin had said on the car ride there. If he didn’t love me, he would have never gave me such a precious gift. I went into a daze, that in between stage where you don’t know whether to smile or cry, it was a normal thing, I was told.
“The baby is staying active. That is a good thing, at least we know that the young man is thriving.” Doctor Bledsoe said to my mom, as if I wasn’t in the room or was to stupid to know anything he was saying.
News flash dr. Bledsoe, I looked up everything from the time I found out about Nathaniel until today and there is nothing you could have thrown at me that I wouldn’t have understood.
“We want to have Ali a baby shower. I know that we are not supposed to have her standing for to long at a time but it will be at our church and their will be a lot of women there that can help if anything should go wrong. I just don’t understand how you can be pregnant without having one.” my mom had just blurted it out.
The room was silent. Nobody had expected her to do anything but shake her head when he asked if she understood. It had taken us all aback, sense she had gotten kind of quiet when it came to this matter here lately. After minutes dr. Bledsoe spoke, “I don’t see why not. As long as she takes it easy. Do not let her walk, do not let her run, watch small children around her. Nothing with caffeine and no heavy lifting.”
He shot a look right at me. Like everything was my fault if Justin would have just helped I wouldn’t have to be watched so carefully. I was getting so mad listening to them talk about me like I wasn’t even there that I had to bite my tongue a couple times.
After a bit of coaxing, mom finally quit talking so we could leave. It was settled. Tomorrow was our baby shower and I was stoked. I didn’t get much better than that. Then the phone rang. Looking down in black letters on the front of my cell phone it said Justin. He was the last person that I wanted to talk too. He would just yell at me anyway. I hit ignore and texted him.
“In the dr still. Text you when I get home.”
His reply, ”k.”
We rode the rest of the way home without talking, not because I didn’t want too. I loved talking to mom but because she was singing the Dixie Chicks at the top of her lungs. My mom wasn’t much of a singer but she tried at least I could give her that.
When we pulled up and mom was getting out, I stayed in the van.
“I’ve got to call Justin, mom. He just texted. I will be in as soon as we get off the phone.” I told her.
Not like we would be on the phone long. We never talk longer than 15 minutes anymore. I dialed his number, his mom answered.
“Hey, Ali. How you holding up?” she asked.
“I’m fine, Jana. Thanks for asking. Hey, my mom is throwing me a baby shower tomorrow and if your not to busy, will you come?” he couldn’t say I didn’t ask.
“I can try, Let me find Justin. He ran outside to get something and left his phone in the house.” she said.
I didn’t wait long until Justin was on the line.
“So what did your doctor say about the baby shower?” he asked.
“He said I could go as long as I don’t overdue it.” I said.
“He’s just as stupid as you. You’ll just find a way to hurt yourself there too. Sense you love all the attention.” He said.
“Justin, I would rather not fight right now.” I said.
“We’re not fighting. I’m just saying. What makes it okay for you to get to leave the house after being on bed rest so long? Ali, It’s only two months until Nathan is due. Why in the fuck do you want to risk it?”
“ME RISK IT! I’m not risking anything, Justin. I want to go. I want to be around people. I want to see my friends. I want to be around people who actually like me.” I replied.
“You such an ugly whore. Nobody likes you. They just feel sorry for you because you’re a pregnant teenager.” he replied.
“Justin, listen. I’m sorry I yelled at you but how do you think I feel when you yell at me all the time?” I asked
“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it.” and he hung up.
I didn’t call him back. He wasn’t going to ruin this for me. Not this time. I got up and out of the van and walked into the house, where be and my sister, Victoria, sat so we could watch people get hurt on youtube. Before long, we were rolling. I hadn’t laughed so hard in I don’t know when. I don’t know how long we sat there. It must have been a super long time because everyone had gone to sleep and Josh had walked out of his room, looked at us and said, “Would you two shut up? It’s 3 in the morning.” We laughed even harder. Finally around 5 we decided it was time for bed.
Morning came and we were running around like crazies. I didn’t want to get up and dressed and neither did Vikki. Maybe we did stay up way to late last night but it was worth it. After half an hour of fighting to get us up and dressed we were off and on our way to the church, it was a matter of ten minutes before we got there. I mean hello, we just lived up the street from it. When I got out of the van it was like a wave of women wanting to hug me and touch my stomach, a few even cried. It felt so good to see all these familiar faces.
Walking into the church, it was like walking into our house for the first time in a year. I hadn’t realized how much the people here loved me or how much I had missed it until this day. We walked down to the family center and in the front of the room was a chair, just for me. A table full of gifts, and something really big hiding behind the door. Looking to the left. I saw her, my best friend, my sister, Tiffany. I ran up to her and embraced her, almost refusing to let go. I had missed her so much. Not even the cutest kitten could have stopped the tears. After letting go and taking my seat, I looked everywhere and Justin’s mom was nowhere to be found. Figured.
We started with a prayer, and the pastor’s wife had this big thing where they all welcomed Nathaniel to the church and told me just because I was so young did not stop me from being loved. That it made us stronger as a church. I cried, they touched my soul, in more ways than any of them would ever know. I loved them all so much. After she had said what she had to say we all got to eat. She walked me to table and right there in the middle of it was a huge cake. It was blue and white and said Special Delivery really big across it. I was stunned. It was beautiful. After eating the cake, which seemed more like a sin than anything, we opened gifts. It touched my hearts so much to see how much I was really cared about. How much people really can love people. I never really had a chance to thank those women for what they gave to me, what they had taught and the love that they showed me, even after I had sinned and become this unholy creature. But there in that church surrounded by the people who cared most, I felt like I had a chance. Like I could do this, everything was going to be alright. As long as I had the help and support of these women I could do anything.
